The other day I was reading something aloud to my husband when I came across a word I’d never seen before. Because it was a new word I had no idea how to say it, so I just kind of said something garbled and moved on. My husband stopped me though and said, “Do you have some kind of problem reading?”

I was shocked and appalled by this question. “What do you mean by that?” I asked.

He explained that I do this thing when I read new words were I just say something else instead of what the word really says and try to make it a joke, but he’s started to think that I had some kind of problem reading.

He’s right I do, but I always thought I’d done a great job of covering it up. I never thought anyone suspected anything.  I have a bit of a problem sounding words out. I guess I was absent on that day of school. I read all the time but not usually out loud so it’s not really a noticeable problem.

What does this have to do with you? Here’s what it has to do with you.

Stop Trying to Be Perfect

The only perfect person in this world is my mother, or at least that’s what she tells me. So you can stop trying to be perfect. No one’s expecting you to be. You may be striving for perfection in life, but you certainly haven’t gotten there yet so don’t pretend you have.

When you’re spending your time trying to hide a flaw you’re lying to others and  to yourself. If you don’t acknowledge the problem you’ll never be able to do anything about it. It’s like there’s a wall right in front of you and you say, “There’s know wall there.” Then just keep walking straight towards it. What’s going to happen? You’ll walk right into it that’s what. You can decide to walk along next to the wall for awhile, but if the place you need to get to is no the other side of the wall, you’ll never get to it without dealing with the obstacle of the wall.

Knowing your weaknesses will help you know your strengths.

Once you admit your flaws, you’ll be able to figure out what your strengths are more easily. For every weakness there is an accompanying strength. For example, a blind person’s other senses are usually heightened to make up for his blindness. If a blind person tried to pretend he wasn’t blind and walk out in the street unassisted that would be stupid and dangerous. Pretending you have no weaknesses may not put your life in danger, but it’s equally as stupid.

Let’s say you had a shovel and a broom. You could try to sweep your kitchen floor with the shovel. You may be able to use your hand to push some dirt up on it, but you wouldn’t do a very good job. You could try to use the broom to dig a hole. You could sweep the same spot over and over and maybe you’d get a little indentation in the dirt, but it would be hard work. Using the correct tools for the job will give you much better results.

Make a List.

Sit down and make a list of the things you don’t do well. I know this sounds like a self-esteem lowering exercise but trust me it’s not. It’s simply a honest look at reality. Are there things on that list you want to improve? If so make a list of way s you can improve them and people who might be able to help you improve them. Are there things on that list that you’d rather not deal with? That’s fine. Like I said before no one expects you to be perfect. If your imperfection isn’t putting your life or the life of others in danger and it’s not taking away from the quality of your life that’s fine. Don’t do it if you really don’t want to, but admit that it’s a weakness and don’t try to pretend it’s not. Own up to the fact that it’s a weakness you’d rather not deal with.

Now turn the paper over and list your strengths. Some people have a problem with this so you may need to ask other people what they think your strengths are. This list is just to show yourself what you do well so you can have confidence when you’re doing those things. You may even want to develop some of those strengths further. Doing so could open up new doors in your life that you’ve never even imagined.

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Don’t run away from who you are, embrace it. To quote a popular 80’s classic, Ebony and Ivory, “There’s good and bad in everyone.” Recognizing that in yourself and others will help you lead a happier life.

Photo by jcoterhal

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