When I was in my early twenties, I got a job working for a bank. Before I could start the job, I had to attend a training session in the neighboring town. At the time my social anxiety was quite high about a lot of situations that I encountered. Starting a new job, and attending a training session in a town I didn’t know very well was a little nerve racking. The most nerve racking thing about it was the lunch break. I’ve always had lots of anxiety about lunch breaks. Where will I eat? Who will I eat with? These questions would scuttle about in my mind as the lunch hour grew closer and closer.

The training was quite easy, but there wasn’t much time to get to know any of the other people in the training session. When the lunch break came, I was on my own. I got in my car and drove to a McDonald’s that I’d passed on my way to the session. (I still ate fast food then. I didn’t know any better. I’ve since overcome my fast food addiction.) Luckily, I had a library book in the car that I took into the McDonald’s with me to read as I ate. A book brings me security when I have to eat alone. It makes me feel less lonely.

When I sat down at the table, I noticed one of the other women in training with me at the the drive-in window ordering food. After she ordered, she pulled her car into a parking space and ate there. It was winter and cold. Eating in her car was probably not the most comfortable thing for her to do.

That’s when I had an epiphany. I don’t really know what was going on with that woman or why she wanted to eat in her car alone, but I thought that maybe she had the same worries about the lunch break as me. Maybe a lot of people have those worries. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t the only one.

Rationally I knew that other people were shy or suffered from social anxiety, but I didn’t really know it. I didn’t really know it until that day in McDonald’s. It’s funny how a major point in my social development took place in McDonald’s.

I’d like to say that the next day I asked that woman to eat lunch with me and we became great friends, but honestly that isn’t what happened. I continued to eat my lunches alone during the training. During those lunch breaks, I mulled over this new knowledge and I came to a realization. If others have the same anxieties as me, I should try to recognize that and help those people. It’s hard feeling nervous and under confident. If I’m observant of others, I can recognized those feeling in them and help them to feel more comfortable.

As a shy person, I recognize that some of my shyness is the result of being too self absorbed. I’m too concerned with what I’ll do in any given situation. I spend too much time wondering what I should say to others and what I should do. If I spend time trying to help others feel comfortable and concentrating on what others are saying, I don’t feel as much social anxiety.

The photo was taken by Sukanto Debnath.

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