When I was in my early twenties, I got a job working for a bank. Before I could start the job, I had to attend a training session in the neighboring town. At the time my social anxiety was quite high about a lot of situations that I encountered. Starting a new job, and attending a training session in a town I didn’t know very well was a little nerve racking. The most nerve racking thing about it was the lunch break. I’ve always had lots of anxiety about lunch breaks. Where will I eat? Who will I eat with? These questions would scuttle about in my mind as the lunch hour grew closer and closer.

[ad#Adsense]The training was quite easy, but there wasn’t much time to get to know any of the other people in the training session. When the lunch break came, I was on my own. I got in my car and drove to a McDonald’s that I’d passed on my way to the session. (I still ate fast food then. I didn’t know any better. I’ve since overcome my fast food addiction.) Luckily, I had a library book in the car that I took into the McDonald’s with me to read as I ate. A book brings me security when I have to eat alone. It makes me feel less lonely.

When I sat down at the table, I noticed one of the other women in training with me at the the drive-in window ordering food. After she ordered, she pulled her car into a parking space and ate there. It was winter and cold. Eating in her car was probably not the most comfortable thing for her to do.

That’s when I had an epiphany. I don’t really know what was going on with that woman or why she wanted to eat in her car alone, but I thought that maybe she had the same worries about the lunch break as me. Maybe a lot of people have those worries. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t the only one.

Rationally I knew that other people were shy or suffered from social anxiety, but I didn’t really know it. I didn’t really know it until that day in McDonald’s. It’s funny how a major point in my social development took place in McDonald’s.

I’d like to say that the next day I asked that woman to eat lunch with me and we became great friends, but honestly that isn’t what happened. I continued to eat my lunches alone during the training. During those lunch breaks, I mulled over this new knowledge and I came to a realization. If others have the same anxieties as me, I should try to recognize that and help those people. It’s hard feeling nervous and under confident. If I’m observant of others, I can recognized those feeling in them and help them to feel more comfortable.

As a shy person, I recognize that some of my shyness is the result of being too self absorbed. I’m too concerned with what I’ll do in any given situation. I spend too much time wondering what I should say to others and what I should do. If I spend time trying to help others feel comfortable and concentrating on what others are saying, I don’t feel as much social anxiety.

The photo was taken by Sukanto Debnath.